|| My everything ||

how true

2012-02-06T13:18:00.000-08:00

just a few memes for Glasgow University. apparently we even have a fanpage on facebook called as GU memes. xDDDDD and I assure you, everything I post here is either in uni, at freaking accommodation which state we love so much right now or things that always happen in uni.

mycampus, the freaking thing that caused me ages to enrol and in the end, simply gave up and asked the advisor to deal everything for me.

my room, which looks like this, about this size and we have bars for our main doors, not room doors.

psychology, which I haven't been to class for more than 2 months.

=DDDDD the door opens and let you fall on the street near the library. =D

murano, best place to live in. =)

today, when I draw open my window and I saw WHITE. literally. I thought it was snowing but apparently, just fog. and couldn't see people who were just standing 10 feet away from me. glasgow weather FTW!

which is why you buy your own little portable heaters. =D

every freaking day. xD

yes, we have a freaking stone vagina in front of one of the buildings. xD

all the time, all the time. xDDDDD

every university has a university in which they make fun of. not university, every school. taylors subang was INTI, GU is strathclyde and caledonian, edinburgh is napier. it's just fun banter and I'm pretty sure strathclyde and napier make fun of GU and edinburgh as well. just accept it people. -.-

By,
Tze

dance your heart out

2012-02-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

song of the month: turning tables by adele. <3

because you taught me that a human's heart could have such a large capacity.

next time, I'll be my own saviour. <3 apart from Him.

because I'm learning

2012-02-01T11:23:00.000-08:00

I think, it's time for me to let it go. there will always be that part in me, true, and there will always be that part that keeps hope alive. but it's time for me to let it go. it's been what, 6/7 years? 2 and a half years worth of fond memories that I've documented. it's enough.

I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt. but those memories are enough for me to let it go and wish the best for everything.

and I suppose, to a point, this is what people mean. and I feel honoured and glad enough to know that I've experienced it. even if there wasn't anything in return. this is enough for me. it's enough to keep a smile on my face. I can't tell how grateful am I to even experience it.

I've never dared to talk to you, but this is enough. the rare times that I did, I was consumed with joy. those times, everyday, it was good enough. and I thank you for that. so now I'll finally let you go, and I wish you all the best. <3

I suppose to a point, nobody could ever, ever, take your place. you're the only person who I've held on to for so many years. <3 it feels like a part of me died along when I type this. =)

next 3 years..?

2012-01-31T18:56:00.000-08:00

I just made a decision for my next 3 years. I'm just wondering if I made the right choice. I've prayed a lot for this to settle but I don't know if I'm receiving the right signs. I'm not sure if this is what He wants for me. I'll be lying if I said I'm not afraid.

whatever it is, it's not the end of the world and I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to handle it. =)

optimism, that's what it should be.

I've written 2 posts but I haven't completed them. consists lots of my thoughts. I'll post them up once I'm done with them. =)

By,
Tze

6 years back

2012-01-19T09:23:00.000-08:00

looking at that where they were there makes me feel worse.

cause I was once at a moment and then I wasn't. but now I realised, maybe I've always been and still do. cause there was a time, few years back, it would be me. and I've always liked it. it's just that as time passes, you seem to find so many new things fascinating. and you sort of shift your attention away from things that you once liked. and when you realised it, you look at it and realised it's gone. not that it really matters but at some point, you'll find yourself missing it. but that's still fine because if it was you, you'd act the same way too.

people grow up, everything changes, treasure what you have now, before it's gone and you're too late.

if you have something to do, do it now. if you have something to say, say it now. *only applies to good stuff not bad stuff like talking behind backs or stealing*

little girl, one day, you'll miss it too. =) just cherish things now and stay happy.

I feel old saying things like that. but yeah. xDDDDD

By,
Tze

this was, still a little, me

2012-01-13T16:40:00.001-08:00

saw this on the our daily bread section for today. thought that I should share because this was me. and it is still me, to an extent and it's something that I'm still battling with and trying to change. but I know that it'll be fine cause He'll guide me. =)

Jesus made it clear to His disciples that He is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). He is the only way to the Father, and our belief and commitment to Him results in love and obedience—and leads to an eternal home in heaven.

Christina, a Bible student in Minsk, Belarus, wrote this testimony: “Jesus died for everyone, even the most desperate sinner. The worst criminal who comes to Him in faith, the Lord will accept.

“For a very long time, Jesus had been knocking at my door. Figuratively speaking, the door to my heart was open. I was a believer. But I kept the safety chain in place. I would not turn my life over to Him.”

Christina knew this was not right, and she felt that God was compelling her to make a change. “I knelt before Him and opened the door as wide as I could.” She took off the chain.

Committed followers of Jesus will do what He commands—without safety chains or back doors. No reserving little corners of our lives all for ourselves. No secret sins.

If, like Christina, you’ve been holding back from surrendering to God, it’s time to unhook that safety chain. Let go of those reservations. Throw open the doors of your life, and experience the joy of obedient discipleship.

Less of self and more of Jesus,
More and more each day like Thee;
Just to live in full surrender
For my Lord who ransomed me. —Wonder

No life is more secure than a life surrendered to God.

repeating it, countless times

2012-01-10T15:15:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many times I've said this and I can't stress this enough, but yes,

I believe everyone has a bit of good in them,

no matter how bad they seem to be.

you might call me naive, and I may be, but I really do believe that. there's a good part in everyone, conscious, I think, that's what it's called. and something else might dull it and cover it sometimes, things like money, power, lust, fear, things like that, and make you unable to see it, but in the end, it's always there.

everyone has the ability to have a little bit more of kindness, thoughtfulness, care and whatnot. but you just have to know yourself and think more for others. because in the end, your little action or word, can completely change another's person life. you might be able to save a life (and I don't mean from donating money and things like that even though it's good), or you might be able to break another's walls down.

resolution number three: be a better person, have a little more kindness. because one day, you might need it from someone as well.

By,
Tze

2012..?

2012-01-09T11:17:00.000-08:00

I should probably write a post about New Year's and Christmas and London. but I don't feel like it. I'll write one next time. but here is something that's mildly related.

I don't know if it was London that changed me, I don't know if it was Manchester, I don't know if it was my choice, but now that I'm back, I sense that I am different from before. calmer, more me like how I used to be at home, without the hyperness. kind of like, how I used to be like when I hang out with a few friends. or like me at home, without randomity. but calm, slightly withdrawn from the events that my friends plan to go.

see, for me, it's different. it's the difference in culture, maybe, or maybe I'm not as fun-filled as them. I like a very different kind of fun. but I'm over the period of drinking and clubbing. it's just exhausting for me and it's no longer that fun. it makes me on the edge instead, makes me nervous and fidgety. I like to have quieter times of fun. dinner, going out, hanging without booze, things like that. I like lots of things, as long as they don't involve in smoking, drinking, clubbing, drugs and sex.

I like the laid-back kind of fun. a night in the bar, I don't mind that, once in a while. but once a week is a bit too much for me to handle. or once in 2 weeks, even. I'd rather once a month the most. I like simple things, like a thoughtful note, or a nice surprise like that postcard through the mailbox, or a walk down the river or even just a simple meal or a simple thing like listening to music while curled up on the bed, reading a book. =) yeah, I like peace and quiet. it might look boring, but that's all I need.

and this week is refresher's week. a week of excuses to have another freshers week while being drunk again. which is fine for most people but it's really not my thing. everyone just have different preferences, and this, is just mine. =) cause I just like laid-back stuff like that. ask me 2 years back, heck, even a year back and I might be dying to go out every night. but I got over it, it was a phase for me.

I have a secret that I would carry out this semester. if it works, that's great, if it doesn't, it's fine as well. cause it's no longer such a big issue to me.

this semester, I've also to work harder. I was slacking too much last semester. just realized I might actually fail and have to come back here during august to resit. which would just suck. I'm just going to have the typical Asian spirit of working hard, that's all. and hoping that everything won't screw up too much. =/

there's something that's really bothering me and I've prayed for it again and again. I used to not pray for that, but now, I don't know, things change. if He wills it, it's great, if He doesn't, I'm sure there's a reason why and there's something even better waiting for me. =)

in the end, all you need is a little optimism, faith and strength. =) that's all I need anyway.

thought of the day, to some extent,

would it really be idiotic if you would do anything for anyone as long as they were happy, even if they were lying to your face and using you? or does it warm your heart to know someone like that exists?

By,
Tze

26/12 am 1ish/ 12ish am

2011-12-30T18:37:00.000-08:00

this is a huge decision that I've made. I've been contemplating about this for long enough. 11 or 12 years. it took me this long to finally have the courage to accept it. see, I've tried before but I've never fully committed myself. several times. but now, I sort of understand what went wrong compared to before. see, I asked and I got a sentence that makes the difference for me.

the first time I saw this, it touched me so much that I ended up tearing. =O

all these years, I've always believed in what she told me, long ago, 9 years ago, I've always believed it, it was right but it wasn't sentenced the right way. and the way it's retold makes all the difference for me.

"it's a lifestyle that you follow and accepting it, accepting and believing in Him, not a set of strict rules that you follow."

that, makes all the difference to me.

cause I've always wondered why is it so hard to follow everything and knowing me, I'll try to make it perfect. but it's exhausting. but this makes all the difference to me. cause this means I've room to learn and to make mistakes and learning from it. it means building my life around my decision and I know I can do it. because it's hard to build a life around rules and not breaking anything and making everything perfect. but this gives me room to breathe.

see, this is one of the hugest decision I've ever made. because this means I'm going against my family's words. because this means I'm willing to risk getting into huge fights with them to continue to follow Him. and I'm not going to lie, I'm afraid of doing so, very much. especially after one sentence, that tore my heart before when I heard it. that's the one reason for why I've always not made this decision. I love my family very much you see. and that one sentence kills me everytime I think about it.

how do you pray to them after they die?

the talks in London made me remember the dream which I had when I was 8. it was terrifying. and it still is. I was only 8, I wasn't at home, and I remembered that was the first time I've first made my choice to follow Him, and I had that dream. I learnt that it will do anything to stop you from following Him. I woke up crying, I still remember that.

I'm serious this time. and this time, I'm going to commit myself and hope for the best. the risks that I'm taking and everything. I wonder what will happen when I get home during the summer. what chaos would happen once they see me. but one thing I know, my family loves me and that's good enough. and more importantly, He loves us, and I'm sure He'll be able to guide me. I've always have the faith and belief, all I need is will and determination. =)

tzejean

sem 1, done and over! =D

2011-12-14T20:38:00.001-08:00

YESSSSS! done with semester 1 in university of glasgow. feels like an accomplishment though I can't really say so because I haven't been putting ANY effort in it, thus, the terrible assignment marks which I'm not used to.

well, at least it's done. =D apart from biology, which is postponed to week starting from 9th jan. so I'm gonna put more effort in it cause if I don't get good enough marks I wouldn't be able to do biology in semester 2. which we don't want that to happen now, do we? =)

psychology 1A, science fundamentals 1X, biology 1A. I don't think I made a mistake choosing these subjects, though choosing isn't the right word cause I didn't exactly choose it. more like, it was chosen for me by my advisor regardless of what subjects I was interested in and wanted to take.

but I'm still pretty glad that I took these subjects, they'll definitely help me in my course and that's all that matters now, isn't it? I can't express my joy that exams are over. me so happy. =D

now the only thing left is waiting for london. <3

By,
Tze

the only reminder that keeps me going

2011-12-12T14:43:00.000-08:00

That picture, in my hidden place, that is the only picture that reminds me and motivates me to work as hard as possible. I've forgotten about it but today when I stumbled across it, now, it feels as though a surge of hot willpower just rushed into my heart.

That is THE ONLY reason for why I would want to get good grades, and get the best of it. it's became irrelevant if I'm doing my best, doing my best is NOT enough. and that, is the only motivation that pushes me forward.

I've to remember my goal, remember my aim for why I would sacrifice plenty of things just to reach it. after all, you wouldn't want things to go to a different way. people place importance on different things and their perception is different. I know that. I honestly know what could cost me if I manage my aim one day. but that doesn't put me off.

look out, one day, I will reach it. even if it means I have to tire myself out completely and things to be a burden, I will still reach it. I have to.

By,

Tze

everchanging

2011-12-05T21:41:00.000-08:00

people, I believe, always grow and change, no matter how old you are. you always learn from new things and it might be imperceptible, but slowly you'll realise it. it's odd how a person just change and others who are around him/her are just able to adapt to the new change, sometimes, not even knowing.

you know, I don't regret any decision or any part of my life. I feel like every memory I have was generally happy and there's always something good. or maybe that's just me not really remembering bad parts. xD or I choose not to because I'd rather not dwell on upsetting parts. =)

why should you when you can choose to be happy?

I personally think that if given a choice, if there's anything that I could erase any memory, I'd rather not cancel anything out. because everything that happened, makes me who am I today. and to be fair, there are so many things that I can improve, and I really am, striving to achieve who I want to be.

sometimes, I make the most immature decisions and then don't know how to handle it and ponder upon it for ages and ages and still not know what to do. sometimes, I think I'm too afraid of really taking a step out because I've no idea what would happen. I really am silly, sometimes. =)

you see, I really do like my safe warm bubble where I know exactly what's going to happen. I'm not sure if I used to be able to handle surprises well or not but I can tell you now, I like to know what's going to happen. I like to know what's coming. but I do think I need a healthy dose of unexpectedness to let me relax. I seem to be too tense all the time. =)

and when I say tense, I don't mean I'm anxious and unhappy all the time. don't get me wrong, I'm happy, I just think that I should get out from this safe shell of mine and really know what's out there. but I'm pretty reluctant, I admit that.

several things that I learnt when I was here, I really was shocked. the things I hear, the things that I realised I DON'T know, that's when I really fully realised that I'm very well sheltered from everything. even things that I thought was normal and not unusual, is actually not, and that was coming from my own mother.

I used to not really agree or fully understand the concept of "live like there's no tomorrow" or "live life everyday like it's your last" or quotes like that. I thought I did, until now. now, I really, fully understand it. what happens when your time is counting down and you know it? it really REALLY is terrifying.

another thought just crossed my mind. or a reminder, whichever. I just want to remind you guys that you can always talk to me. and I'm serious about it. no matter what happens or what had happened or what could have happened, I just want you to know that you can talk to me, no matter the reason. as long as there was a period that I've spent some time with you, I just want to remind you, all of you, that I'll be listening no matter what happens.

just random thoughts that crossed my mind. =)

By,

Tze

it's not that different

2011-11-30T07:51:00.000-08:00

waking up in the morning with a smile and nice songs puts you in a good mood. :) and I suppose I'll be in a good mood the whole day.

you know, there's been several things that hit my mind these days. but I can't seem to keep track of it. I wonder if it's just because I'm here or my way of thinking has changed so much that I can't seem to fully understand what I'm thinking. sometimes, I'm worried that being here might turn me back into the person who I was before that year. and that isn't a good thought.

slowly, I can feel that I might have reverted back. but I don't like it. it makes me less optimistic, more reserved and makes me doubt people. I like the fact that after that incident, I'm able to be optimistic and simply, just believe.

I'd like to believe that everyone is good deep down. honestly. to some extent, I believe that everyone has a good part subconsciously, no matter how terrible they may seem. even those who you'd never thought would be good, there is a good part, somewhere in them. it's just at a place where it's hard to reach. you've just, got to help them find it.

I'm not being unrealistic. because those of you who know me, know that I can be very very realistic. it's just something that I truly believe in. everyone, everyone has a good part. there really is nobody who's entirely bad. people just act the way they do and they would have a reason for it. look from their perspective, you'll soon find out that what you think it could be, might not be as it seem.

everyone's different. and it's good that it's that way. you know, if you start doubting people, eventually, you shut yourself off, not just others. not everyone shuts you off, you, shut them away. when you start trusting people, that's when you get to learn different things. that's how to grow and learn from their perspective. you'll find out their reasons for why they act like how they are. sometimes, it's just the way they have to be.

thought of the day, to some extent,

all you need to do, is understand others to really understand yourself. :)

By,

Tze

慌妙

2011-11-21T08:11:00.000-08:00

friday night, weird night. that night, is never gonna repeat itself. I'm gonna swear off alcohol for a month. or two. or more. freaking hell, I've no idea that, that was gonna happen. ughhh.

there are more complicated things that are happening here. glasgow's complicated.

I like people who make everything much simpler, like us back at home. when we're happy, we're happy. and we're happy almost all the time. complicity should be left for other people. but things here aren't as random and happy as we were back at home. don't get me wrong, I love the people here and I like the place, but I like the people and place back at home more than here. =)

you guys, always come first, no matter what happens.

there's this part of me that always wonders, what if, I didn't go to glasgow? I went somewhere else instead? will I still be the same?

and I'm officially giving up. in the good way, of course. :)

and I've decided to bury myself in the library everyday till late at night. until the library closes. because exams are more important than anything else. you have to work for what you want. remember your goals, it's the most important thing.

and your parents will be very disappointed in you if you didn't work hard. and you know you will be too. exams in 3 weeks.

By,

Tze

:(

2011-11-14T18:03:00.000-08:00

am feeling very, very disappointed in myself. got pissed and lost my temper for a while. I can't believed I kicked someone in the shin. he is an asshole sometimes but still, I feel really really bad. no matter how annoyed I was I don't think I should have done that.

honestly speaking, I think glasgow is bringing the worst out of me. I haven't been this pissed or as upset as that day for a long time now. I feel like I haven't been controlling myself properly. I think I should.

see, the thing is, it works this way. when I control myself, I completely control it, I won't allow any mistakes and in a way it's bad because it accumulates in me. on the other hand, when I am like me now, I let loose myself, which is good in a way too, because I don't let things build up. but each way, it has it's pros and cons. still, I think I've to control myself. this isn't working out.

I don't know why but glasgow is making me so stressed all the time. it's not the workload, it's just, everything. not classes or the work because I'm sure I can handle that. it's everything else, it's just stressing me out. not in a good way. sometimes, I wonder if it's this place, if it's the hostel that's making me this stressed.

I think I really need some peace and quiet. knowing me, if I'm back in malaysia, I'd probably run off to singapore by now and get some time off and calm myself before come back. but here, I'm stuck. I need to find a place, where I can go to for ages and ages and be sure that I can be fine before facing everyone again. I need a place for me to be mellow.

I've been building up too much stuff in me in the past, it's not good to let lose all of it here. it's not good. what worries me often is that I haven't had a proper breakdown yet and that's not good. because I need to have one to release everything in me. but right now, over here, all I feel constantly is tired. I'm exhausted all the time and it's not from sleeping. it's from all these things building and all the stress in here. I want to move out, badly.

I desperately need a way to let loose. I really do, and I know I'll find one soon. I really don't want this stress and ball of emotions (which I don't even know what it is) to be inside me.

心痛极了，但哭不出，好辛苦。

By,

Tze

epic

2011-11-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

watched 康熙来了today. HILARIOUS.

我跟小甜甜有个吻戏。

这是我昨天跟你说的。

你说surprise吗？

对

这不是surprise，这是shock.

赵又廷

小刚

小乐

damn freaking funny. xDDDDD I love that show. =)

keep your head up, you'll get through it

2011-11-06T15:26:00.000-08:00

it's not gonna crash on me, it's not gonna crash on me, it's not gonna crash on me. it was supposed to be a good day. I woke up happy, had breakfast at the flat below, went to botanic garden's with a few friends, saw joo-ju got her piercing, have a clean kitchen. it was supposed to be a good day.

:( it's not anymore.

I'm sick and tired of this and all I want to do is sleep it off. it's probably not going away anytime soon but for now it'll be burried. one day, when I find my way to that pretty river bank (which I found out is near botanic garden), I'll go there and let everything out. promise. else I might just break, and I don't want to break.

sick and tired. sick and tired. sick and tired of it.

the main thing isn't that. the main thing is that it hurts. badly. very badly. nobody really knows how much except maybe, her. she knows.

how did the day got turned in literally 5 minutes?

sleep it off, bury it in and wait until it's time. and it is, soon. then do whatever you have to do. just make sure that this time, you'll be able to handle it.

tzejean

halloween? london? glasgow?

2011-11-02T18:46:00.001-07:00

I feel like I should blog but life has been rather hectic. so for my prebirthday, I went to London on 29th (dajie's birthday) to meet up with my friends whom I dearly miss, already. jiahuei, hwee, sinthoong, weiken, chong min, yuee sun and I were in London and we just went for a little shopping trip, dinner at rasa sayang and walking around the whole place waiting to get into a tesco store only to find that the liquor section was closed. xD

despite missing phantom, despite having only one drink before the bar closed, despite walking around the freaking 100 meters area for the hostel for an hour, despite not being able to hail a cab, despite having to wake up at 5am in the morning to fly all the way back to glasgow, I still had a pretty stellar time. it was the company that made up everything. I had a really nice and mellow time with my friends. and it's things like that that I love. that kind of small group, mellowed out, that kind of atmosphere, nothing too huge, nothing too rash, it suits me.

bought GAP kids though, am simply ecstatic.

went back to glasgow then to celebrate my proper birthday with my amazing friends here. on the 30th, we went to rumours, which I may say, I told myself never, ever to return because of the waitress' terrible behaviour. but she was pretty good that day, which may I say, is the first time I've seen even 2 years back. 14 of us, jad, idil, zhangqi, kamau, sarah, henny, eleanor, julia, qihao, carson, milky, farah, marcelo and I. it was great. malaysian food was goooood. I was absolutely joyful that day.

the next day was my proper birthday, halloween too. I was ecstatic, woke up in a really really good mood, which hadn't happened since a really long time ago. no, not even in malaysia, I can't remember how long it has been since I was this ecstatic for my birthday. I was up and was smiley the whole day. skipped all my classes and went to buchanan street cause I decided to reward myself. went to H&M and bought 2 long sleeved tops that were kids' clothes and costs less than £10 each.

then I went to claire's to get my feathered hairband. it was pretty. got back home and washed my laundry and decided to have dinner. then eleanor called and wanted me down to fix her cape. I went down and sewed a little (yes I did), mostly I was just positioning and making the hood to fall and follow like my imagination. I was rather stressed I would say, almost cried due to being a perfectionist at some things. I wanted it to be pretty and I couldn't let it be. but it was good in the end.

everyone came up to my flat and had predrinks and I was still getting ready myself, I was being black swan though I don't know how to do the makeup, thus, abandoning it in the end, was done, got to the kitchen, found a caterpillar cake (so cuteeee!!) and 2 cards from my flatmates (who are simply lovely and they decorated the flat) and my friends from downstairs (who drew pictures of me in the card which is exactly what I do). I had a really good night. few predrinks, went to QM and partied the night away.

overall, I would say, one of the best birthdays I've had. yes, even comparing it to malaysia. still one of the best. I'd give it a rating of 9.5/10. the 0.5 was lost due to tesco metro not accepting my ID which was RIDICULOUS cause everyone accepts them and the hood and the taxi in the end but the good parts canceled everything out.

I'm really happy. it was a really good celebration. :)

tired, nights people. toodles. that's your old tze right there, making weird faces. xDDDDD I still love you guys, whoever you are, reading this. I love you. :)

By,

Tze

because I don't seem to have time

2011-10-21T16:36:00.000-07:00

and because I've been busy and I literally have no time on my hands, I'll give you a funny and cute and nice picture post for what I've collected for now. yeap, I still like to brighten up someone's day. :) and I've been a good girl, promise. =D

SO FLUFFEHH AND CUTEEEE!!

and my personal favourites:

with the winner photo (you have to understand BM):

I actually find this REALLY funny. xDDDDD

nothing much to say cause I've been busy but I've gained 3kg and it's making me sad and french has been good and I'm giving up to meet asians and I'M GOING TO FREAKING LONDON NEXT WEEK!

and most importantly,

Happy birthday jo-wow-cold-toe. you're very much loved. =) you should come to uk because I miss talking to you and talking about absolutely nothing in particular. yeah, it's the jo is sending me to uk photo. and that's the most recent photo I have of us. xD

By,

Tze

moves like jagger

2011-10-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

the good thing is knowing a secret which only can be shared between a few people. it's nice to know that we've came to this degree that we can share a secret.

baby you light up my world like nobody else

the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

and it was nice that we sat at KFC, and actually talked about our grandparents. which was hilarious at the same time. cause we were talking about grandparents and diseases and we went on how many children they had and all. I find it really funny.

and I like my new clothes. they can keep me warm for the winter, which is really good. going to london soon, I can't wait. and coming back here, should be a good night. :)

I miss dressing like this

you don't know you're beautiful,

that's what makes you beautiful

I've been meeting more new people now and yes, this makes me happy. :) now the tricky part, trying to make conversation because I don't want to scare people with my randomness and hyperness. which I am SLOWLY unleashing towards my friends here.

I've been happy. went to QM again. only had a smirnoff ice and a shot. and when I got in, I got drinks poured down my back. and yes, it was soaked. but despite all that, I had fun. and I assure you, I was really quite sober. xD

french starts on monday. oh and since I'm so lazy to type, I usually post photos about stuff that's related to what I'm doing here. :) I'll try to update more. :)

By,

Tze

feel the wind

2011-10-02T17:29:00.000-07:00

the best thing about walking to university everyday if you want to be in a good mood for class is plugging in your headphones into your ears and bob along the street. it's funny how such a tiny action could turn your day around. :)

got my galaxy SII in white, it's pretty. and my watch, which is only £10. dad said to get a proper one when I get home next year.

signing up for basic french.

I love the people here, they're awesome. I'm doing amazingly well in case any of you cares. :)

By,

Tze

science fundamentals, might be a mistake

2011-09-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

so, I've been doing a few classes of science fundamentals, biology and of course, my main, psychology. and everything's pretty smooth. I like psychology, learning all about autism now which is REALLY interesting (no sarcasm here). I had only 3 classes of psychology though, so no idea what's it really like yet, can't really tell unless I have more classes.

I've done 4 classes of biology and science fundamentals though. biology is reaaally cool. I mean, I don't know lots of stuff like the conversions and calculations because I haven't done physics for 2 years and I've forgotten everything. it's so interesting that I figured if I reaaaaally don't like psychology, I might actually opt for marine biology. because it's so cool and really interesting. I love biodiversity and stuff like that and you guys know that I love animals but I can't be a vet cause I'm terrified of blood.

science fundamentals have been really weird. my advisor said if I've done chemistry before I should take science fundamentals but the thing is, science fundamentals have chemistry, physics and math in it. so I'm actually doing physics as well after 2 years of not doing it. but the weird thing is, the chemistry which they teach is this:

what is an atom?

what is a molecule?

what is the symbol of helium (He) or magnesium (Mg)?

what is in the nucleus of an atom (protons and neutrons)?

what is a covalent bond?

weird stuff like that. I mean, we did this in form 4 for goodness sake! and math is EVEN weirder:

how to multiply 239 with 23?

how to divide 568 with 14?

how to times 1/5 (fraction) with 2/6 (fraction)?

how to do highest common factor (HCF)?

I mean, hello! I've been doing multiples since kindergarten and HCF are like form 2 math! why are we learning this!? but I was kinda surprised when I saw veryyy few people knowing what's HCF. makes me think twice.

right now, the only cool stuff are like biology and psychology. but I think the biodiversity part might be over soon so yeahhh. :) well, everything's pretty cool now. will update soon. have tennis tomorrow again.

p/s: having a cold, still. throat kills.

By,

Tze

freshers

2011-09-12T19:16:00.001-07:00

I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS AGES AGO!! so, what I typed a long time ago:

I'd better update my blog before I go to bed since I'm pretty okay today. :) so freshers week, what's it like? well, lots of booze, lots of clubbing, lots of silly things and lot's of drunken people. and also, lots of dying liver and internal organs.

part of uni's museum, yes, it's IN the uni.

sunday we went to GUU's the hive. it was real fun. we went there at like 11 or something I can't remember. sarah, henny, idil, david, hamilton, julia and I went there together and of course, the guys splitted up as soon as possible to talk to girls while we started getting drinks and dancing. and yeah, it was fun when you're NOT sober. not so fun after that when you realized your liver is dying.

I was real weird though, doing all the weird stuff and saying weird things and I couldn't care less who was watching as well. oh god, it was the worst, weirdest and best experience that happened. and no, nothing happened to me. :) I've good people who would bring me back home.

monday, the hive at GUU again! this time with the oh-so-famous andrew who DID NOT left the stuff outside his room. and no, it wasn't his. and with Jad, the really nice guy. I was pretty okay today, didn't drink much which shows why I was normal.

tuesday, headphone disco at the QMU! THE best night out ever! it was so amazing! headphone discos are my favouritest love right now. if there's any headphone disco in any clubs, I would SO be there! it's like, no music but everyone gets to wear a headphone. there was 2 DJs so there were 2 channels to listen to music to. so when you're with this crowd, everyone around you screams to this song so you scream and dance to this song, but when you move over to the other crowd, everyone was screaming to another song then you scream to another song as well. it was SO good. a really really amazing night altogether. when you take off your headphones you can hear what's everyone singing so it's really cool. :)

wednesday- Beat a Maxx at QMU. totally amazing. the DJ and the drummer was so good. I'm in love with the drummer. he was cute and he was SO good. they're like, this band that travels around the whole uk, not sure about other countries and they play different music. the drummer played to everything, including pop, heavy metal, rap, slow jazz, everything!! he was so amazing. really great night at QM. :)

thursday- forence and the machine at GUU. it was SO bad. forence was so bad. the music totally killed everything. it feels like she was playing her ipod, one song was done, there was a few seconds of no music then next song. it was so very very bad. it killed off everything. the only good part was that david and the guys were SO crazy that it made up for it a little.

friday- cheesy pop paint party at QM. it was good, and I decided to go there completely sober. no predrinks or drinks even there because I'm kinda sick with a cold and freshers flu, might be having a fever soon. but even when I'm sober and having people pushing me all around and stepping on me it was still not bad. so imagine if I drank! felt really disgusted once it ended though because i had paint everywhere and it was all slimy and gross. took a shower and headed to idil and jad's flat to talk. had a really cool and random night. :)

today, saturday- decided to stay in, and DID stay in. and was glad that I did because julia, idil, sarah, jad, eleanor, henny came back after an hour. apparently QM only had like 20 people in there and they had to pay 3 pounds to get in there as well. everyone decided to stay in cause we had enough. so they came back after an hour. I fried rice for the first time in my life and it tasted funny. I mean, not THAT bad but weirdddd. zhang qi, a chinese guy living in idil's flat, said it was weird but refreshing cause he had egg fried rice so many times. xD idil and julia had some and they said it was not bad but they aren't chinese! but let me tell you, it was definitely weird. had a conversation with them about awkward turkey and awkward turtle. apparently it's not something that weiken made up so yeah.

classes on monday officially starts, which sucks cause my class starts at 9 and ends at 6. but with many breaks in between. joined international society. gonna join malaysian, tennis, riding, dance, lacrosse maybe. :) all's good here. loving the people I met, loving the way we are, hating the weather and missing my food and my dog and my house and my car and you people and my family. :)

I MISS THIS SO MUCH!

toodles!

By,

Tze

orientation tour, murano

2011-09-09T17:14:00.001-07:00

I'll try to squeeze as much as I can in here in this short time cause it's 1am here and I really need my sleep and I need to get up early tomorrow to stock up the stuff that I'm lacking.

first up, international orientation bus tour.

it was really great, overall. met some really cool people. had lots of stuff that I wouldn't type out here nor tell but yeaaaah, weird. xD speaking of internationals, there was, indeed, plenty of internationals. hong kong, americans, romianians, irish, syrian, italians, I can't even name everyone. I don't think I even remember everyone's names.

view from window

went to Loch Lomond, invarory town and invarory castle. the town was this tiny thing that we finished in 5 minutes but the bus driver told us to get back in 2 hours. so we had our bonding session in a coffee shop drinking cuppucino. it was great. oh, there was this case that this other group's guide lost his group in the jail cause they were visiting the invarory jail. it was funny. xD

forgot to mention that while I was on the way to invarary town I was talking to Decem and Ben. :) really nice people they are, Decem's funny. what with her breaking toilet bowls and lying in the bath tub and soaking herself and her bag.

view from window

headed to invarory castle after the town, was there for maybe, an hour and half? or something similar, I can't remember. the castle's really pretty. it's everything what a person of wealth would do in the olden days, make use of their money and make everything as grand as possible. xD there was this flag which the British used to bring it to Malaysia when they were conquering us. it looks like a ragged fishnet now. xD

view FROM invarory town to another village

Loch Lomond after that, which was nice. that place was peaceful. Hikmat, Tom and the guys were teasing some swans while we were nervous and freaking out because swans are so aggressive. they were teasing them and trying to feed them non-existent food. and they were so keen on grabbing the ducks' and swans' tails. we spend some time sitting in the coffee shop as well and sipping on drinks.

invarory castle

it rained terribly that day, weathers really bad here and I've to get used to it. but they did say that the weather that day was worse than usual. I suppose the usual would be light drizzle. but it was weird rain, that day.

view of invarary castle

Accommodation, Murano

So I won't be posting up photos yet cause it looks super messy in here and I don't have a bed to sleep on cause my clothes are all on it since I'll be buying hangers tomorrow. I'll have to sort it out before I sleep. it's much better than what I expected. it's possible to have 2 guests to sleep on the floor here, which says pretty much. quite spacey, kinda like my room without the area where I dump my blue study table. and not so wide. but overall, pretty good, I've to say.

the heaters pretty warm as well. it's really good. 2 showers but one with a broken lock, a toilet. living in a small flat with 4 other people. I haven't seen anyone yet except my neighbour opposite me and i couldn't really talk today cause my family was here and we were trying to settle down. she's friendly and trying to make friends and I seem mean. well, I'm gonna try to talk tomorrow. hopefully I'll have my stuff done and I'd be able to mingle.

one quick photo of my messy room. desk and chair that has wheels on the other side, in front of the bed is a basin and opposite the basin is my wardrobe, in between my wardrobe and my desk is a mini sofa. quite spacey. bed sheets and everything provided but I'll be getting my own, it looks terrible.

apparently there's a guy in my flat who I haven't met yet as well.

I like my room. yeah, I do. it's pretty good. I can imagine myself in here for a year or longer. not as noisy as I expected, so it's all good. am able to enroll but it's being an ass right now cause my classes keep clashing. I'll try to continue tomorrow. am exhausted with moving and settling.

oh, speaking of which, the bridge to cross to my accommodation and the main gate is reaaaaaally creepy. no wonder they said we have to be careful. :) toodles.

p/s: photos don't look as good cause I took it using my phone.

By,

Tze

glasgow, permanent :)

2011-09-05T15:44:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the wonderful world. I'm in the far far away land of scotland, united kingdom where the sky is always rainy and the people are always friendly. and some of you will join me soon. yay! :D

Glasgow is so much colder than london! it's really freezing up here and I've been wondering how am I to survive during winter. Probably living in woolly socks and woolly clothes everyday and hiding under the covers. but, the air is MUCH better than london's and definitely worse than edinburgh.

People are super friendly here too, they just say hi like nothing. xD there were already so many people who said hi to us when we were in my university. oh, my university is HUGE. we turn into this street called as university avenue and everything on that street belongs to my university. and it was SO tiring walking up and down the hill. everything is hard to find cause it was too large.

and considering that I haven't been exercising for a very long time, and I've been freezing here, I was actually sweating when I was climbing up and down finding the right places to settle my paying problems.

part of main building

not much to say right now I suppose, but everything's been pretty well. and I'm gonna get freaking fat here cause I keep eating. which is bad, really bad. I'm quite sure I've already gained weight while I'm here, and it's only been what, a little more than a week?

I love my university, it's pretty. :) very old, and happyish. but I didn't experience that overwhelming ohmygosh feeling which I thought I would. I was just, satisfied. which was enough for me. I'm hoping that I'll love it more and more as each day pass by. maybe the fact that I have to run everywhere in my first few weeks to find where I'm heading overwhelms me. I couldn't even find the reception area. XD

you know what I'm gonna miss most in malaysia? the people who I left behind and the weather. then again, this seems a good place to start if I wanna meet some new people. people are more friendly than londoners.

and I can't grasp the scottish accent. yes, me. I can't hear what they're saying. I have to REALLY concentrate to understand it. those who speak native scottish anyways. those whose accents are not as heavy is easier to understand. they speak like "hufgh hufgh hufgh hufgh hufgh". no, seriously. I find it hard to understand. it's so different compared to how I speak with my weird accent and how england speaks.

inside of uni

I'm gonna love it here, I can feel it. :)

By,

Tze

LONDON! for a few days. :)

2011-08-30T16:38:00.000-07:00

HELLO LONDON! :DDDDD

won't be posting much cause of limited access to internet but I'll be heading to glasgow in a few days time. think reaching on 4th or 5th? not sure. :) miss you guys loads.

By,

Tze

26th/ 27th august 2011

2011-08-27T11:51:00.000-07:00

this, is gonna be a super long post.

Friday, 26th of august 2011

I went out with my friends from jean gan to tropicana city mall. of course I was late cause I had my haircut and stuff. ms jeamie wasn't there. zhin ie, evelyn, sofia, hui ying, gillian and I were walking around. huiying, gillian and zhin ie look like some group cause coincidentally, they were wearing white tops with black bottoms. then we went to get my socks for uk and I dropped them home and went to curve.

curve was, weird. I mean, we were weird. josephine, shukim and I. we went to laundry. shukim almost fell flat on her face with her arms wide open, for a few seconds. and everyone was looking around. never be around her when she has alcohol in her system, she keeps whining and laughing and she was just SO weird. appetizers are small, small, small, with the hands. she was just so weird. and a bucket of fries instead basket. I forgot basket.

I became cranky and super serious instead. I kept telling josephine what condition was I in. I was like, now I'm super tipsy, but I can remember and think and I still know what's going on. now, I can still walk but I'm not sure it would be in a straight line. now, I need some food to soak up the alcohol in me. highly logical, I am, and cranky, and kept asking shukim to be in control. had a terrible night and after resting in josephine's car while she sent shukim home, I was totally a-okay. had a shower, talked to josephine and I was in control again.

leaving the next day was a little scary. her brother was weird, I think he didn't notice I was there. thank goodness I got off the sofa on time else he would be on me already. was supposed to use penchala to go back home but I ended up in kepong instead and almost heading to jamin's and khye's. driving halfway, I realized I still had alcohol in me, it wasn't totally gone yet and only did I realize that my car's orientation wasn't exactly straight. it didn't pass other car's line as well, I kept to my lane but it was just a teeeny tinyyyy bit off. so I drove slow and wore glasses and concentrated hard.

night time, farewell with the happy and crazy friends.

Friday and Saturday, farewell, mamak

So they came on friday night. jiahuei came first. and then weiken, who told me he was at connaught one hour before and still wasn't at my house after that hour yet. we went to pick him up then we headed off to the fengshui mamak. we just ordered and tiongyann came. I was super glad he's here cause he doesn't need me to tell him directions and he can help me lead as well. halfway eating, shukim called and I had to pick her up. then corliss was at leisure mall waiting to come my house. so tiongtiong went to lead corliss while I picked shukim up. jamin reached after we were almost done and her GPS led her to this super chinese house with two statues and a flight of stairs. thank goodness she's been to my house before or she would have rung that bell.

we had our mamak happily there while listening to shukim's indian guard stalker scary story. I kept fidgeting around in my taylors shirt cause it was just too hot. and I didn't know the existance of tandoori chicken and soup kambing. I think I need to go for more mamak sessions. went back to my place while having 3 cars tail me.

played star pufferfish and cliff hanging with jamin, shukim and jiahuei with my toys while the guys were doing VISA. what with my newly acquired OCD and not being able to lie on the bed. khye came much later, his practice started at 12 or something and corliss already went back. he was hungry and we piled into weiken's myvi. 7 people in a car and it feels like a roadtrip. mi goreng tak mau daging, satur mau sayur, satu tak mau sayur, dua mau telur, I have no idea what else they said. it was so confusing. xD

dabao-ed back to my place and we hung out at my living room with shukim holding christmas bear everywhere she goes and sleeping with one eye half opened and everyone snatching for the stool to put the legs on and jiahuei kept saying it was hot and khye eating all my biscuits and us munching on guavas. we were so weird. we headed up to my room after that when my sister came back and squeezed on my bed. 6 people fitted on a queen sized bed. and terrified that the house alarm will ring if you hit the emergency button and the windows. everyone jumping up to take off contacts and brushing teeth and rushing back to the bed in case we don't have a spot on the bed.

the photo I have closest to all of us here, except ga and josies

tiongtiong who brushed his teeth with his finger and I forgot to give him a toothbrush even this morning. and we splitted up. the guys slept in the guest room, I slept in the other room and the other girls slept in my room. woke up at 9ish and offed my alarm and went back to sleep till jiahuei woke me up. had a half real half fake dream about skyping my bestest friend about not going to ROCK and this person there whom I've forgotten.

shukim was difficult to wake her up. woe the guys up with weiken being cranky and khye refusing to go for breakfast with us, thus, sleeping in my house alone while we went to UCSI north wing for fish ball soup mee and fishcake. jiahuei went off then tiongtiong. finally we went back to my place cause minghui called and said she was almost here and I had to get ready for my next outing/ farewell.

reached my house and khye was about to take off. said goodbye and we hung out in my room again with shukim almost lifeless. minghui came with yeyoung, which was a surprise. stayed in my place for a while, minghui and yeyoung headed straight to bangsar while I led weiken back to old klang road and then I went to bangsar with jamin and shukim. met up with hweephen and said my goodbyes to jamin and shukim, met up with minghui and yeyoung , had lunch at Ben's.

saw this super super cute guy there that made me all giggly and silly, paid our bill without my cake in it and went home. went to buy my cabin sized baggage and still having problems packing my bag.

decided to post in a rather monotonous way or else it would be too long. annnd, I coudn't post everyday cause it just takes up too much time. xD 2 MORE DAYS!!

oh, and happy birthday weiken. :)

I hope you like our throw the stuff toys at weiken! act and the fishcake as a cake. :)

people who would go to uk, I'll meet you there.

and you, I'm very glad that you're going to birmingham. :)

p/s: I'm still feeling all giggly and silly. xDDDDD

By,

Tze

of salmon rubber and canopy walks

2011-08-23T08:14:00.000-07:00

Since my pictures haven't arrived about the Ritz-Carlton traditional afternoon tea, I shall blog about today.

Hweephen and I went to pyramid today cause I wanted to return the books to Eva and Yap Yee Sam. and since I was around taylors I might as well meet minghui who just started uni at sunway and jo, who's always been at sunway.

so we went to pyramid and we had sakae there. we ordered using their ipad and minghui was so super happy about it that she kept flipping the pages. she's crazy that girl. we catched up a lot and I almost strangled her cause she didn't tell me her huge news. we were talking about rubber salmon and people bringing eyeballs back home and whatnot. it was really fun.

and not to mention they were laughing at me cause I didn't have strength to press a button to refill my tea. I did in the end! but they were still laughing cause everytime I do it my hand shakes. oh, and finding minghui when she just reached pyramid is not a happy thing. she told us she was at the bottom level of Asian Avenue. and there's only a floor for it. so naturally I was hanging around Asian Avenue and she kept saying she was in front of jusco in the center of the place. little did we know, she meant she was at the first floor. we were at the highest floor in front of Asian Avenue. she's crazy, that girl.

josephine and adam came later and we met at sakae as well and we started talking about weirder things. mostly about thursday and friday. what with the world being so small that hweephen knows adam's younger brother and beer diffuses into your adipose tissues. it was overall, a good day.

and buying secret recipe cake for my maid cause it's her birthday and hweephen having to drive away my car later on and I couldn't find my car.

am officially counting down: 6 days to go. will be blogging everyday.

By,

Tze

swimming at Jamin's

2011-08-20T09:57:00.000-07:00

so, I was saying that once I get my photos from jamin's I'll post them up. so, I have the photos and I can tell you what silly acts were we doing. oh, and my sunburn is not gone yet, the skin on my face is peeling off and it's depressing. I take back about sunburn being exciting, it's not exciting at all!

so kids, this is how aunt tzejean does her swimming back in the days. we can now tell that to jamin's and jiahuei's kids in the future. with her toes pointed, as what dancing usually requires.

but it was relaxing! it's actually pretty comfortable, it's like sitting down, except you don't sit with your butt. and yes, I made jiahuei make me stack my legs on her. I wanted to see how funny it was, and it is!

and I was doing sit ups in the water in that position. may I tell you that it's terribly tiring. yes, even when I only did 10. considering that we used to do at least 50 sit ups every sunday, 10 should be easy, but no, I was literally quivering in tiredness. and yes, I look like I have no neck, and jiahuei too. teehee.

and we were doing many funny funny poses. we should have done jamin's ex-3 qualities pose! the muscular, the jacket and the biker! darn, why didn't we think of that? and we climbed on jamin and made more funny poses and she walked around and made us imbalanced and falling into the water. you know, I'm kinda regretting that we don't have a water camera to take photos of us acting dead, it was kinda spectacular. it was scary, especially jiahuei's, as the contrast of her skin and her hair flailing around her was dramatic, and the water had a tinge of blue in it, making the scene utterly heart stopping scary. I wish there was a camera to take it down. it was the beautiful scary kind.

I love this photo of jiahuei's!!

and of course, we headed back to the washroom to shower. and you know what girls love to do once they reach the washroom, camwhore more. we took plenty of photos and us complaining that we're fat or in motion.

t'was a good day, even with the sunburn. and no, I loved every moment of it. how often are we going to be able to swim this happily anytime soon anyway? not at least until a year. another perfect memory (with just a little flaw of sunburn), tucked into my pocket of memory. :)

next up, picture post about my farewell + traditional high tea at The Ritz-Carlton Hotel.

By,

Tze

=\

2011-08-18T03:30:00.000-07:00

I'm down in the dumps today. whatever that's happening to my friends and whatever they're feeling makes me feel like that too. so if one of them is sad, I feel sad too. I'm trying to be happy and optimistic but it's pretty hard to feel that way. my feelings and mood get influence too easily.

I'm super stressed as well and the corners at my mouth just keeps turning down. yeap, I'm really not happy at all. listening to music that fits my mood and trying to find out what else I can do but I can't seem to do anything. I'm even thinking of cancelling this saturday. =\ I think it's a bad idea, somehow.

on another hand, I'm happy for weiken cause he got into bristol. yeap, it's the place where I applied to unsuccessfully. nah, I don't hold bitter feelings anymore, I've gotten over it and accepted it that bristol isn't a place for me but there's a tinge of regret that I should have done better in my first semester to get there.

so it's currently flip flop, my mood is, but I suppose I'm feeling more in the dumps now. yes, I'm feeling very very sad now, I haven't felt sad like this for some time now. considering, saturday. worried.

I need to dance.

By,

Tze

=(((((

2011-08-17T08:07:00.003-07:00

yes, I'm actually very sad about it. it shouldn't have got out after all. sniffles, might be changing my mind soon. it's like my happy bubble just popped. I wanted it to be a success! now I'm wondering if we should even make it after all. sniffles. =( and no, this is not the usual I'm-so-depressed-but-actually-not-depressed kind of thing because I really am sad this time. =( =( =(

ikea, horror movie and approved VISA

2011-08-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday jiahuei and I went to jamin's place for a swim. we were supposed to reach at late 9ish or around 10ish but we reached at 11.30 instead. reason: tzejean went to jiahuei's house and we ate mcdonalds breakfast and I went to check her luggage to see what she's bringing to uk.

so we went to curve at first cause we didn't know how to get to sierramas and jamin could lead us. we went straight into the parking lot and waited for jamin to appear. and when we came out, jamin was at another parking lot entrance to wait for us, so we were driving at 2km/hr. literally. nopes, not 20km/hr. 2, as in, less than 5. and we stopped dead at the exit of the entrance cause there was no car behind us.

after a terrible leading to jamin's place, we headed straight to the pool and jumped in happily, had weird acrobatic exercises which includes hanging your legs by the wall and running towards the other end of the pool and pirouetting in the pool and somersaulting. we also had weird pictures taken, which was, really weird. what with ears popping and having a teaparty underwater and nose touching the floor and acting dead which jiahuei excels in and bubbles coming out from the eyes, it was wonderful. and piggyback riding like an elephant and pulling ankles.

then we went to ikea and jamin had to leave as soon as she arrives and jiahuei and I had meatballs and salmon and chicken and wasted our vegetables cause we don't eat them raw. ikea is a wonderful place while we went around finding my purple not found boxes, we found black ones instead. I wanted to get everything in there and we were very happy. but tired.

and we found out we got sunburned. which is sad, but it doesn't bother me much since I'm already dark.

VISA APPROVED! this is wonderful! now I can get my luggage done and get ready to head to uk, whoohoooo! me super happy cause this means I don't have to waste my airtickets!

today and yesterday is/was a good day(s). I'll post pictures up after I get them.

By,

Tze

dead fish with rings and never swimming under a mace

2011-08-15T04:41:00.000-07:00

WHY YOU NO REJECT/ ACCEPT MY VISA YETTTTT?

yes, this is what stress has been doing to me. every single day, I wake up, turn on the computer, brush my teeth, track my VISA status then continue to wash up. and yes, I've became super paranoid about this. and everyday, my dad will ask me if there's news or not. and everyday, my sister and I will complain about my VISA. SO STRESSED!

people, the woman eating her husband's ash is freaking disturbing. please, if you have problems like this in the future, don't come and find me even if I'm a psychologist. xD

my mother changed my huge luggage to bring to uk to a medium sized one. sniffles, now I have to bring less things. I registered for my international orientation that day and I've no idea if I would make it in time to move into my accommodation or not. walking tour and visiting around glasgow.

The match yesterday was so exciting, Lin Dan and Lee Chong Wei's points were so closeee! darn it. well, it was well played at least. they both were like seals, flopping up and down super fast. xD it's okay Lee Chong Wei, you're still awesome.

I just read an article today and it was stating about guys. YES, manly guys are important. xDDDDD not the types who I would describe as they're so, guy. noooo, the ones who are manly are the people who girls would like. josephine would understand this and I haven't talk to her for too long. ishhh.

Ikea and swimming tomorrow!

By,

Tze

look out, bath and glasgow

2011-08-11T01:49:00.000-07:00

cambridge's results were announced today and I'm happy to say that jiahuei has her results anddd, she's now going to bath. happily. So now we can plan whatever we want for to uk. and man, am I excited about it. =D I was already excited about glasgow but now that she knows her results, it reexcited me. xD

this is bath uni, beautiful.

phantom of the opera. loveeees.

glasgow and bath better watch out, cause we are coming and it'll be an adventure to last for ages. I love uk, despite everything that's happening there. we're very privilege girls to be able to go to uk and for that, I thank everyone and God. =D me happy.

and this is glasgow uni. mineeeeee.

bath motto: Generatim discite cultus (Learn each field of study according to its kind)

glasgow motto: Via, Veritas, Vita (The Way, The Truth, The Life)

today, is officially, a good day. now, let's wait for edexel's results.

p/s: I'm still worried about my VISA. xD

By,

Tze

VISA and Cambridge

2011-08-10T03:56:00.000-07:00

well, now that all's done is done, let's hope that it'll pass and it won't be rejected. I don't have that much time on my hands. =(

and good luck to cambridge people getting their a levels results tomorrow. make uk happen!

let's all pray tonight, for cambridge, VISA, and the clean up riot at uk.

By,

Tze

Jian's farewell

2011-08-08T03:07:00.000-07:00

SO,

6 August on a saturday on 2011, we had a farewell for Jian Wei who's gonna go to to berkeley, US. actually, judging by today's time and date, he's already gone.

we had a simple/ or not so simple dinner at alexis, ampang. we, meaning, jianwei, hoyong, tiongyann, khyemun, weiken, corliss, shukim, jiahuei, jamin and I. all I can describe about that night was, we were crazy. xD

ordering chicken rice and nasi briyani and a bowl of don't-know-what-soup-noodles was weirdly funny in alexis. some of us had our magical drinks and some of us, no. in the end, those who had their magical drinks remained magically sober while those who didn't had their magical drinks, became drunk. it was quite a sight.

and we changed venue from alexis to jian's house after dinner.

what with khye's car about to explode and jamin taking photos of them so that she can be famous and oil leaking which turned out to be water and tiong yann smelling it while we asked whether he licked it to know if it was water. hahaha! and jian's pointy roof that if it was turned it'll kill someone. and cora, or cara, whatever her name was, being super friendly and is a bad guard dog because she loves strangers and would pounce at a burglar affectionately if he climbs into the house. and khye almost peeing while the other door was open and all of us could see. and roro, the yellow beating thing. and the weird gesture of awkward turkey.

oh, and jian's superb driving while turning the car just in time and the tires screeching and people beside were looking in amusement and shock. well, you've gotta give him credit for checking if there's anyone there before turning. and everyone debating whether the optical illusion is a cat or a dog. and corliss wanting to go home after dinner but is the last person who is refusing to leave jian's house because of the view. and shukim! hahahah!

harrr? go to your house ah? *sounds reluctant*

my house got booze

OKAAAAYYY! LET'S GO! *fist pumping into the air*

jian

shukim

HAHAHAHA! that was hilarious. xDDDDD

overall, it was a not so simple dinner, which serves us just fine. I love you guys. :) and take care jian! I'll come to cali one day. xD

and light shinning between their legs. xDDDDD

By,

Tze

Disney movieeeees < 3

2011-08-01T04:11:00.000-07:00

today I watched mulan on disney channel. it was hard for me to choose which to watch, cause there was two disney movies showing at the same time. mulan or tarzan. and I chose mulan cause tarzan was gonna end already.

and I absolutely fell in love with it againnnn. so I spent my whole afternoon youtube-ing disney movies' songs. they're absolutely wonderful. there are so many songs which I've forgotten. lion king, little mermaid, hercules, hunchback of the notre dame, aladdin, pocahontas, bambi, lady and the tramp, dalmatians just to name a few. those were the days when we sat in front of disney and we knew that there would always be a good movie.

why disney, why can't you make good disney movies anymore? D: lots of silly movies are in disney now and it's not even a quarter as nice as the classic cartoons!

ask a girl or a boy of our age or older and they can tell you about snow white or sleeping beauty. they're legendary, everyone knows about them. it makes me sad if my children will never know good old disney movies. sniffles.

disney movies will forever be inspiring to us, me at least. I love disney classic cartoons and am not afraid to admit it. =D

oh and a side note: this sounds damn weird but grown up simba is hot. xDDDDD

By,

Tze

chiffon beige

2011-07-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

so today we went to watsons to get some stuff. and again, I saw liese and I started debating if I should use it or not and what colour and whether it'll work or not. so I decided to give it a try and after much persuasion and convincing, I took chiffon beige, which I was terrified at first because the colour on the packing looks SO light. and knowing that my skin is not exactly fair and nice, as I'm the dark and tanned kind, it was terrifying. xD I don't want to look like some lala girl who walks around at sungei wang with overbleached hair.

the instructions said that you're supposed to leave it on for 30 minutes but I left it on for 40 to 45 minutes, my mum said that it'll be alright cause my hair is long and it's thick and unruly. XD it's not exactly like the wash kind, which I was expecting it to, but it's still relatively easy to use, foam and stuff and just massage it all into your hair.

and the end results were okayish. I think it looks okay for a person who's dying her hair for the first time and it's suitable if you fear doing something drastic like dying your hair blue or something if you've never done it before (like me). it's definitely not as light as the box indicated if you have black hair. it looks even darker than the one on the box and it's the kind which doesn't look very obvious kind of brown. it's more obvious when you're under the light so all's good. it feels weird cause I'm so used to myself having jet black hair. xD

that's the colour of my hair that I can find closest to right now. when the light hits, it sort of look like her hair on her left, lighter colour, when there's no light, it still looks like the one on her right, blackish.

next time, burgundy brown. =D

By,

Tze

anxiety worry worry worry RUSH

2011-07-27T01:21:00.000-07:00

all of a sudden, everything is packed together and I'm getting worried because of the lack of time. I thought I had more time but it turns out that I was so so so wrong. and I need to talk to sinthoong because she's gotten everything done since she had her results out since last year so she's gotten her VISA done, her air tickets done, her lists done and I thought I had more time.

the bad side is, she's in penang and I'm down here. so if there's anything I want to ask (which is a lot actually), I usually call hr or text her or facebook her. so now her facebook is probably filled a lot with me. xD but jiahuei has been a good source of information too. she knows lots of stuff like what to bring and stuff like that. it's nice having people around me who's well-informed to makes me less stressed out.

and now glasgow is telling me that they won't change my CAS because there isn't an issue on the given name and first name thing. BUT, they spelt my name wrongly! they should read all their emails first before sending me one. oh goodness. now how long am I suppose to wait? I was betting on getting it by friday at the latest.

I think I need to calm down. I mean, knowing that all your plans are being pushed forward is a little shocking and scary, sure, and knowing that you're running out of time is also scary, sure. but you should relax. though I don't think I can be as relax anytime soon anymore since it's the busy period already.

oh, stupid glasgow. now they told me that they've sent another CAS with my name corrected but the problem is I haven't received any! and it's supposed to be by email. URGHS. I dunno whether to worry or not. and I might have issues with my documents too.

and it doesn't help that my dad is pressuring me everyday and telling me that I've to get everything ready already and my mum being very indecisive on whether she wants to go or not even though she secretly wants to go and is afraid of using a lot of money and dad is all over the fees and I've to wait for the username and password from mycampus and everything is a mess. sniffles.

only my second sister is calm and she's currently calming all of us down because I'm counting on her experience over there for such a long time. stress free stress free. breathe in breathe out.

By,

Tze

CAS and another promise to me

2011-07-24T04:34:00.000-07:00

your CAS number will be sent to you in due course.

WHAAAAT? sniffles, I wanna do my VISA early stupid people, and the fact that I'm going to singapore for godknowshowlong doesn't help. but father did say that if there's anything from uk that's sent to my house, I have to take the first flight out and come back to KL.

aaand, I'm leaving for uk sooner than I expected. sniffles. oh well, I'm pretty excited and nervous and a ball of emotions tumbling around in me right now.

you know, I did manage to change as I said last time. I promised myself and I did, it makes me happy and it makes me a happier person too, I'm just super happy that this life is mine and everything is going to smoothly. it's nice to know that the saddest thing right now is I don't know which jeans to buy. xD which isn't very sad. hahaha!

and so, I make another promise to myself, I'll try to change again, for my future. I just wanna improve myself, be a better person, live a better life, have a brighter future and be happier. you'll see, the person who will come back will still be me, sure, but a better me, and hopefully, a HEALTHIER me. xD

it's time to grow up just a little more, look things in perspective and take charge of your own life. less whining and moaning and no more blaming about other stuff, it's my life, after all, I do what I want and I take responsibility for it all.

you know what I see in front of me? doors. the doors to my bright future. :)

By,

Tze

dressing in uk

2011-07-19T09:13:00.001-07:00

sorry for the multiple posts today, but THIS, is how I wanna dress in uk.

I love this one!!

but we'll see. :) shopping tomorrow with shukim. by the way, I just saw a RED leather jacket today and I'm very tempted to buy.

By,

Tze

emily bear

2011-07-19T02:08:00.000-07:00

check this little girl out.

Emily Bear (CLICK)

and another one (CLICK)

she's amazing that's what she is. composing songs that hit directly into your heart and soul at age 5. she is amazing. and what's amazing is that she used to not know that there was anything special. when asked where she got her inspiration, she said I dunno, my heart I guess.

she's my new idol, move away james blunt. I heard lots of her songs, thanks to youtube, and I think they're really, I don't know how to describe. it just hits home and she usually uses 5 to 10 minutes to compose.

=\

2011-07-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

accidently clicked a button and suddenly my mood just dropped. among all pages which I clicked on facebook, it had to be the one page that is based on mr ganes' memory. read through lots of comments that were posted long ago and it still hit me hard. he still popped up in mind quite often when I'm talking about high school to my college friends.

thanks sir, you're still one of the best. tonight, my prayers go out to your family.

Parler Français

2011-07-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

got back from penang yesterday. had a relatively good time, it was crazy, what with me driving away my friend's car cause the policeman shooed me away and my friend panicking at the station cause her car and me in it was gone and her phone in the car so we couldn't contact each other. and me panicking cause I was in the car and driving around penang and not knowing any roads and freaking out. but all was well.

oh, another incident was that she dropped us off her relative's house and went into the house while we lingered around. then one relative came back and us, not knowing anyone, freaked out and hid behind a pillar when she was outside the gate and frantically calling sinthoong's handphone cause we didn't care to go into the house. ah, that was hilarious, sinthoong laughed till she had the stomach cramps.

I love the beaches even though they're all dirty. I like batu feringgi (if that's the spelling) and I would live in shangri-la next time and not at sinthoong's house. it's pretty what with facing the beach and the swimming pool and all. and water sports! parachuting and everything, I was so tempted to play but I didn't bring a change of clothes. sniffles.

A nos actes manqués

Au monde à ses douleurs qui ne me touchent plus

so i got my accommodation and it's murano halls. I have no idea if it's the smaller apartment or the larger one cause I put both of them as my choice. and had just paid deposit today! so all I have to do now is settle the air tickets and VISA. so excited and nervous.

do you know that shangri-la at Paris is absolutely breathtaking? I wish I could live there but I've converted, it'll cost about 4000++ per night. sniffles.

Je dirais plutôt désolé que excusez-moi

because it's less of mine than yours.

because, one day, it will

2011-07-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

despite everything that's happened, I still believe that one day, it will happen. I might say something else, but inside me, I do believe that.

8 letters.

offer and track

2011-07-07T01:27:00.000-07:00

kinda relieved now as I've just been on track and I saw my offer changed from conditional to unconditional. so now I'm 100% sure that I'm going to University of Glasgow. pretty place that is too. it took less than a week for them to check and change it so it makes me relieved as I thought I would have to wait for a levels' results to come out before they would change it. seems like they're not so inefficient and that makes me happy.

just got home from hwee's house after a sleepover. I am absolutely exhausted as I barely slept for 2 hours? minghui and meishin slept early and hwee phen and I were downstairs watching The Adjustment Bureau on blu-ray. loved the idea and concept of the movie but I think it was a disappointment. I mean, the movie could have been so much better. it could have been on par with inception and yet, the plot was terrible. but the idea was pretty good. they should rewrite it using the same idea.

I love bedtime talks. all the secrets just spill out when you're about to sleep. then you talk more and more and more and everything just comes out and you don't get to sleep. and hwee phen and I were the only 2 who were awake and talking and giggling. the things that she told me were unexpected and unbelievable. such gossips.

going to wondermilk tomorrow to have cupcakes. I've never been there. let's hope that it's pretty and it makes me happy. =D

By,

Tze

craps

2011-07-02T05:26:00.000-07:00

I just found out about it and now that I know, it's like a siren had set off in my brain. urghs. shit shit shit shit shit. you said you will get over it and you did, for a period of time, even though that it was really important for you. sure, you've had doubts even till now but you can't do anything about it anyway. just get your head wrap around it and move on, don't think about it. yours is good enough. it's alright.

so why can't I get that thought out my head yet? it was so important to me, until now, it still is. I really have to let it go and know that what I've got is good enough. stop thinking about I could have or what if or anything. you wouldn't want to waste time and money.

remember, this is good enough. so let it go and relax. stop being nervous.

cool street art

2011-06-28T05:26:00.000-07:00

that I can't resist to post. yayyy! these are really amazing amazing works of art! I hope I get to see one of these one day. imagine this in KL, we'll probably be jailed up or something. but it'll be fun, wouldn't it?

and the thing is, they're all paintings and look 3D. really really awesome. I wanna be like those guys who stand up there and take photos! so terrifying but wonderful. awww. <3

By,

Tze

have you ever wondered..?

2011-06-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

sometimes, when I think about it, if it's all even worth it, just that one. I turn around, I hear girls talking about it, I turn the other side, I hear guys talking about something similar. it feels like I've really put it off for now. it's not like I don't listen about it, it's just that I can't seem to find the connection about it anymore.

my parents, no doubt, would be sorely disappointed in the future if this continues.

it's just too troublesome, sometimes, that's what I think. it's like facing at the edge of a cliff and staring down, wondering if you're able to survive from that height. sometimes when you risk it all and take a jump, the rush and adrenaline, the plunge makes it all worth it. but what if you jump down and risk it all, only to find out that you're speeding into a rushing river that's full of sharp rocks? I guess that's what people would say you'd never know unless you take the risk.

but I'm not willing to risk it all, I'm not willing to put everything in line if I don't have any guarantees. I need to know, need some reassurance that this is what I want, and what I can have in return. perhaps fear, is another word. or maybe, weirdly enough, I have another word in mind, I just won't type it out.

that day when I saw, I was a bit shocked. similar but different.

maybe one day, all these conflicts will go away. it might, it might not. I don't know. whatever it is, this isn't important to me right now. I'm more than satisfied and happy with everything so I'll just let it slip past. concentrate on the long term plan, strive to get what you said you will and move on to the goal, that's what I need to do.

after all, I can't help it if I don't know what's going to happen right? maybe one day I'll manage to take the plunge or build a bridge. right now, the best that I can do is to continue painting on the canvas on the easel that's at the edge of the cliff until the best solution has present itself. no use getting unhappy or pessimistic about the unknown right? so smile away and paint the most colourful painting that you can. =)

By,

Tze

one step at a time

2011-06-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

so results were out today and I didn't know. and I was karaoke-ing with a few of my college buddies and screamed our hearts and lungs out. after we realized it was out, all of us got really panicky and started screaming in pyramid. everyone around probably thought we were nuts.

so jia wei and wei wei started checking their results on wei wei's phone and screamed like mad people because they got really good results. especially jia wei, minimum of 92 for every subject and 99 for biology. it's crazy! she got full marks on her finals! and I just started hyperventilating and felt really woozy all of a sudden. jia wei and wei wei thought I was going to faint on the spot and dragged me to a chair to sit down cause apparently I was green in the face.

wei wei offered me her phone to check but I didn't want to in case I broke down on the spot when I realized that I didn't get the marks I needed. I'm not that ambitious, wanting such high marks, I just want to get into my uni very badly.

after I calmed down, drove back home like a maniac and checked. lo and behold, I found my marks. and I stopped breathing. reconfirmed it, refreshed the page and started keying everything in my calculator and got my overall of 80. I was ecstatic! only my dad was home so I was relatively calmed. waited for my sister to come back with my mother from econsave, saw the car pulling in, rushed out the main door, sister come out first, started jumping up and down and screaming that I got my results and I got to get into my uni. and surprise surprise, tears were streaming down. yeap, I was THAT happy.

so the only thing that I'm worried now is that for some reason the uni doesn't want me or some mistake happened and I didn't meet my requirements or whatever. I'm really nervous, just wanting to see the offer change from conditional to unconditional. I think I'd be really relieved after I'm done with my VISA and air tickets and all.

one step closer to my dream. one more closer to my goal. I'm going to show the world what I'm made of one day. and I won't regret it. ambitious in a way but necessary, it's what everyone would want in the future. I just need to work for what I want. from now on, it's full steam ahead regardless of what everyone says. I'll be successful, just you see.

just take one step at a time. take it slow. because I don;t care if nobody believes in me or not. I will make it happen. I believe in myself and I know, somewhere, I can do it. I'll manage it.

By,

Tze

scary people

2011-06-17T01:54:00.000-07:00

the way him and his girlfriend fights scares me. I've never known anyone to fight with so much violence before. and the words they used were way too harsh. cursing and swearing and acting like psychopaths just makes bystanders scared. and dissing each other to the whole world, don't you all need any privacy? it's scary. :(

1st up, edinburgh

2011-06-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

the post which I've procrastinated long enough. xD

pictures from edinburgh when I went there for my sister's graduation! it's a beautiful place actually, pretty quiet and that suits me just fine. it was an amazing amazing experience and I'd just love to go back there one day and thoroughly go around that place.

we were on a schedule the last time we went there so I didn't get to explore as thoroughly as I've liked, but it's a pretty small place so I suppose it'll take a fairly fast time to go around.

a majority of these photos are taken at arthur's seat. though there are some around like hariot-watt or calton hill. =) next up, norway or denmark or sweden, depends which one I wanna put. and glasgow too, though there aren't many pictures cause I went there for only half a day just to get my mother's LV handbag or whatever brand it was that I've forgotten. geez, my mother and her handbags. though I'm not to complain because I just got a guess one yesterday. a birthday present from my mother because I won't be here during my birthday. yay me!

toodles! glad that exams over but freaking out about my results cause I think I might miss my offer. but 'm hoping, desperately, that I won't miss it. sniffles.

By,

Tze

freedom taste like ice cream

2011-06-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

FREEDOM!! I've finally finished my whole course and exams, which feels pretty darn awesome. yay meeee!! now I'll get to relax for a while, unwind and wait till the storm hits when I'm gonna go to uk( if I can go). enjoy my last few times with my friends before I won't be able to see them anymore for god knows how many years since they're not in KL. weird isn't it, though we all know each other for such a short while, it feels like I've known them for a lifetime.

I did meet pretty good people and friends after all. and today one of them is going back to china and heading off to new zealand soon. :( it's kinda sad but I'm optimistic cause I know one day we'll meet again. after all, what's technology without us using it, eh?

oh, and I saw mr chai today. such a surprise. but I didn't call out to him cause he was on the phone call. earthquake tremor was weird today, postponed test for 20 minutes, shifted venue, had another one during the test and I thought I was subconsciously shaking my chair, amanda thought the girl behind her was kicking her chair till we all looked up and saw mr savich was making signs that that was the tremor. xD

this sem wasn't much of a crazy sem like my 2 previous ones, but it had a nice kind of peace and calm towards it which made me happy. I can't compare all 3 semesters cause my friends were all different but I know that I am going to miss cpu. it's been an amazing time and experience. < 3

sudden

2011-06-08T23:35:00.000-07:00

all of a sudden I'm feeling a little down without knowing why, but it's okay, cause tzejean doesn't get down for a long time. =) after all, I am no longer who I used to be, I won't stay here for too long. =) cheer up, things can't go that bad, you only need to find the silver lining and change your perception and embrace what makes you down. =)

counting down

2011-06-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

~~Finals starts in 6 days!~~

3 ~~FUC~~ nope, I still don't curse, FREAKING DAYS LEFT!!!

~~ohmygoodnessohmygoodness, 2 DAYS LEFT!~~

TOMORROW! god, I swear that I'm getting a heart attack, feel like I'm gonna die. shit.

those days, don't you remember?

2011-05-24T08:53:00.001-07:00

the picture post will be postponed to be the next post, I just had to get this out.

I was going through my old pictures and I saw these few pictures that gave me the most significant memory of those days.

only jiahuei and I will know about that photo, unless, of course, she forgets. xD

oh god, look at us, 1C. it's so funny. xD

I'm just feeling a little nostalgic. I mean, those were the days when you can see each other every day. SEE and TALK in real life and laugh and have little inside jokes where nobody else understands. even if we couldn't see or talk each other every day, there would be at least once in a week where we would finally meet and laugh or rant.

it feels like that happened decades ago instead of just 2 years back. I'll actually be feeling relieved after cpu ends. it's a great and amazing time, don't get me wrong, but I sort of miss having the same class, the same people for a few years rather than 6 months. it's just different.

and nowadays, though all of us are close, I mean happy and crazy friends, it just isn't the same somehow, cause well, maybe when we talk it's through some sort of medium, you know? it's not real life face to face, so it's just not the same. and not everyone everyday together. some days, the higlight of the day would be sitting in a circle on the assembly ground in the mornings, talking about our dreams, nonsensical stuff, gossiping, ranting, teasing and laughing about all sort of things.

yeap, it took me quite a while to finally miss those stuff. told you I've got a very slow realization emotion system. things just aren't exactly the same as they used to be after college started. maybe one day, when I leave here, and go to university, I'll be meeting the same people for a few years, and I hope one day, that kind of giggly silly schoolgirl feeling will return.

and as for now, we'll just stay tight as we are now, and meet up more often after finals, shall we? because you guys are permanent, always have, always will. I love you all. =)

p/s: I don't think I have a full picture. xD add in jiahuei and shukim and corliss and hoyong. not to mention, my other group of friends too. xD

photos will be up next

2011-05-23T09:21:00.001-07:00

I just went through some stuff and I realized that I have lots of photos that I haven't posted up here or facebook. good, important photos from my edinburgh, glasgow, norway, denmark and sweden trip. and it was last year! I shall upload them in my next post.

p/s: I just got them from my dad because I didn't realized that I don't have them. xD

preview photo:

yes, I know I look very tourist like. xD

By,

Tze

CLICK CLICK CLICK

2011-05-19T01:19:00.000-07:00

JUST CLICK THE DAMN BUTTON ALREADY!!

how hard is it to click a button to confirm the universities of your choice!??!

CLICKKK!! I'll have to do it sooner or later anyway! click click click click click click!!!

evanescence

2011-05-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

I was listening to my immortal that day by evanescence, and suddenly, this thought hit me. it would be an amazing song to dance to. an amazing amazing song. it's so full of emotions and it's so suitable for the track which I'm heading onwards with my own choreography. I used to do lot of fast movements before, because honestly speaking, I don't really like slow choreos. but I seemed to have changed track and do more fast and slow kind of movements. like sudden movements or contracts, which can convey more emotions.

I just think that this is something that after dancing to, would give me the satisfaction. I've never really listened to the lyrics yet though, maybe I should. but just the melody gives me enough reason to be captivated. it really is full of emotions, that's what it is.

and you know, there is this little regret that I have, that I've never learnt ballet. I mean, even if I want to now, wouldn't I be too old to learn it? I mean, it's something that people learn when they are young. it could certainly train my flexibility.

I've never realized this, but, I think I really do like dance. it became more than something that I have to do every weekend, or used to anyways. it's like, after I stopped, only I realized that I actually like it. it's surprising to me actually.

so, on another unrelated note to dance, I should confirm my universities this weekend by the latest. I've been procrastinating too much. and I think I should relax, stop worrying so much, or I'll wound up with a heart attack one of these days. I've been worrying so much that I couldn't have much sleep every night. and I think I should go to a doctor's.

and another side note, beware of strange guys who ask you how old are you and after that, asking you where do you study. bewareee! or maybe, try to deflect with the question with another question and answer smartly to steer away from insistent questions.

p/s: that girl above has beautiful eyes.

By,

Tze

Sheet, hwee's birthday!

2011-05-11T05:27:00.000-07:00

sheeeeeeeet. die die die die die. I just realized that I did the whole test wrongly for chemistry. sheet sheet sheet sheet sheet. I'm gonna ask if I can retake it. pffft. hahaha, I was late for class today by like, 15 minutes. so when I was in the corridor going to class, my lecturer came out because class was over, in like, 15 minutes. xD darn. so we just said hi and I went in to double check my assignments. darn. xD

I don't get why pei san can't be back soon!! everyone is coming back including vanessa but peisan said she's gonna stay there until december. DECEMBER! by that time I won't even be HERE anymore! arghs! and she doesn't have skype! how annoying. when she comes back she must download it. pffft.

oh, and today is hwee phen's birthday!! happy birthday!! =DDDDD *huggles though we don't talk so often anymore (or maybe we talk very seldom nowadays), I know you still love ME. XD kidding kidding. hahaha, but yeaaaah. you know you can talk to me if you ever want somebody to talk to, yeah? and you know that I probably won't tell anybody, or anybody who knows you anyways since I don't know your friends anymore. xD

and we need a new photo, just so you know. sleepover later on and I'll give you the weirdly cute fluffeh thing. xD you know that this is the most recent photo I have for us??

one day, when I look back at where I am, I know that I was happy, and probably will always be.

smile!

By,

Tze

internet at last!

2011-05-09T06:46:00.000-07:00

helloooo internet! finally, I have internet connection at home again after more than a month. yeah yeah, I know, whose house doesn't have internet connection these days right? blerhs. well, I'm happy. I seem to have quite a hectic schedule now. or, at least I think so. what with the tests and quizzes and lab reports and exam and ISU coming up. it's the busy time of the year again.

one chemistry test on wednesday, one chemistry test on thursday, language test on sunday, bio report on monday, blended learning tomorrow, assignment due on wednesday and I seemed to remember that there's a bio test this coming week but I can't quite remember when it is. oh well.

hahahaha! I just watched an episode of 康熙 which I believe most of my friends don't watch,(note: MOST of my friends) it was so funny again. xD

你有没有看到？他肌肉八块耶！

他是以这个著称的，你不知道吗？

我好久没有看到那些东西了耶！我都只能看我们家那个冰块盒然后在那边幻想。

小S

蔡康永

god, that was hilarious. xDDDDD

I can't wait to go to university. well, I can, but I can't as well. it's both a dread and anticipation. argh, speed up the time!

oh, and gajoon went back to japan already. I know it's very late news but yeah. take care gajoon! and come back another time! (preferably the time when we're back from uk too) I wanted to type something here in japanese than decided against it. hahaha! probably what I type wouldn't make any sense. xD oh wells.

By,

Tze

YESSS! UNIVERSITY APPLICATIONS!

2011-05-03T10:32:00.001-07:00

two posts in a day!! sorry, I just had to get this out from me. despite sending in the video audition late and all and gotten withdrawn and asking to be reconsidered, I freaking got the offer! oh god. then again, it isn't my first choice but I'm kinda hoping that it would be my insurance. now the problem is my father. how do you convince your father that you applied for a combination subject but your degree will be in psychology in the end?

I think he's gonna kill me cause I remembered clearly he asked if the universities I applied for are all for psychology and I said yes. well, technically yes, but this one has a combination subject? damn damn damn damn damn. he's gonna murder me.

but I'm still happy that I got in even if it can't be my insurance choice. oh wells.

YESSSS!!

of British accents

2011-05-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

I am officially in love with James Blunt. I was watching a talk show where he was a guest star and I absolutely love his British accent.

and his funny jokes and not so funny jokes. James Blunt fetish!

I'm gonna die melting watching it. <3

wonderfully happy

2011-04-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

today is a good day indeed. I keep grinning like an idiot. note that I used a present tense instead of a past tense because I am STILL grinning. heh. but I'm not gonna type out why. it's a secret of my own. :D

anyways, we were learning about homeostasis today and out comes one of the ridiculous things that lecturers say which makes it so funny again.

pee is past through your blood to your kidney, so every time you taste your own blood you're drinking your own pee! haha! *points finger and laughs*
I don't drink my blood
no? you don't taste your blood when you cut your lip? how about biting your tongue? * demonstrates biting tongue*
oh, yeah.
so vampires drink pee!
Edward Cullen drinks pee!!
hahaha! *whole class goes crazy*

lecturer
students

heh, I have crazy and weird classes. and another reason to love taylors is because *drumrolls* there are lecturer competitions which makes things hilarious. so this particular lecturer won and HE has to go through whatever we, students ask him to do.

the before photo:

yes, that's a lecturer. and guess what did he do in the end?

the after photo:

and for a closer look,

yeap, that's taylors for you. wonderful wonderful things happen there. xD andddd, the best thing of all is that it WASN'T cut by a barber in a hair salon. it was done by other lecturers including the gelling and everything and dying the tips of his hair red. hahaha!! well, now he's bald but yeah. and he doesn't mind cause he wanted to cut it anyways. =D

finals in just a little more than a month's time and my grades are dropping dramatically. darn, I just have to pull up my grades and keep going just like what sin thoong said. I am glad that she came down that day even though she desperately tried to sell her ticket. hahah!

test tomorrow, gotta study. tatas!

By,

Tze

just for laughs.

2011-04-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

heh, this is just a pile of things which is either funny or will make you go -.-". hahahah!

this isn't exactly humorous. more like, dark humour but I decided to post it anyway because it's so true.

hohoho, but this is not as bad. jamin told me that day that once she checked her phone and saw 21 missed calls from her mother. 21!!! can you believe it? I would be so dead if I were her. xD hahaha!

heh, just for laughs. :) hope at least one of this picture brightens up your day!

By,

Tze

well, isn't that weird?

2011-03-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

saturday. I went back to ipoh for 清明. and on the way back to KL, I received a phone call which started guess who's back? I wanted to guess wee chan but it didn't really make sense because why would khye mun call me if wee chan is back? then my mind dwelled on the "impossible" occasion and I literally shouted gajoon's name in the car. and I'm glad that I'm right.

gajoon, if you're happening to read this, I am glad that you're back. though I quite sure that you won't be reading this.

what was planned to be an outing at desa park city turned to be a sleepover at jamin's house instead. and was I glad that most people can make it. and was I glad to see and talk to everyone. I realized I haven't talked to most of them for months!

and we were spending time on the piano and dancing around in the middle of the night and teasing ju-on or whatever the spelling is. what with caterpillars and butterflies and videoing and poking and snatching beannie chair and waiting for sunrise that failed and talking and talking and talking.

I love that high five talk and the rolling around and spoiled brat talk. it was hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing and laughing and laughing. oh god, now that I think of it, I'm really really glad that I went. and I've downloaded the anastasia song that I've been dying to download for ages. me happy.

my dog is slipping away.

I like my sundays. it makes me feel like I'm doing something you know? something that I've chosen and I'm making use of my life. though I do like college too because at least I'm doing something but it's not something that I chose, chose. it's compulsory. not that I wouldn't choose it if I was given a choice.

the reason for why I kept asking is because maybe, just maybe, it's me too. and somehow, I'm glad of it.

life is a road now and forever wonderful journey,

I'll be there when the world stops turning.

I really like this song. =)

By,

Tze

of cows and sponge sheeps

2011-03-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

I am going to die for university.

that was a dramatic opening but it's relatively true. my mid term marks are not high enough for university. crabs. I'll work harder at it. and ISU presentation is this thursday. and it's giving me the jitters. I think I looked anxious and stressed out during the test today. everyone was telling me to relax and I'm making everyone anxious. teehee. well, the test went badly indeed. very very badly.

today we were learning Le Chatelier's Principle and about stress and relieving stress. it was hilarious.

do you know who's good at

Le Chatelier's Principle?

you?

no. Beyonce.

because she always sings to the left.

OHMYGODDDDD.

lecturer

students

I have very lame lecturers who ALWAYS make lame jokes. both of them. and one is malaysian. oh god. xDDDDD

we were all freaking out when we heard about japan. though I probably freaked out the least as I found out latest. mehh, I'm sorry. =( but I was super super worried when I found out. and I wonder how is my other friend doing there. and I don't have any way to contact her. no number, no facebook no email no nothing. =\

stay safe, yau gajoon.

I want this weekend to come! holidays!

I think that I can be a very good cow. noodles said that cows can sense when the rain comes. I'm not a sheep though. they're like sponges who soak up water and then roll down the hills. fat sheeps.

my diet plan is gonna fail. darn.

By,

Tze

positivity

2011-03-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

heh. I was suppose to blog a long time ago but I was busy and I don't usually use my internet at home nowadays. I only use it in college like now.

glasgow dinner tonight. meh, I'll upload photos after today.

I was thinking if this was really good and in the end, I decided that yes, it is. it's all for the better and it is amazing how you can see the changes around now. I like it. it's new, yes, but I like it.

I do believe in optimism, I do believe in staying positive and now that I've seen it, I do believe in positivity can bring goodness. I guess, in some ways, they weren't wrong, last time, when they said that I'm an optimistic. I think the pessimism somehow vanished over time. sure, I'm not optimistic all the time but even I can sense that it's more pronounce than ever.

and I'm satisfied all the time. she asked me that day why did I seem so relax and happy all the time. well, I don't know. I'm just happy. things seem to be moving at a nice speed, I'm relaxed and enjoying my last few months in college.

IELTS was okay. as long as I met the requirements, I don't really care.

eh, I forgot what I wanted to say. oh wells.

you know what?

I really believe that I'm living in a fairy tale.

as far as fairy tales get.

By,

Tze

and breathe me

2011-02-22T05:42:00.000-08:00

gah, bruises and more bruises. it's no wonder I don't wear shorts or dresses to college anymore these few days. got to hide the bruises under my jeans. teehees.

I saw them rolling around, and I tried it, and I managed it. and I've always wanted to do it. all I need is it to be in slow version. guess it's not as hard as it looks. or maybe because I have learnt the basic part of the difficult part, if I'm making sense. and I almost toppled over today. almost. she stopped me in time. but I suppose I could have stop it too because my legs came down. oh dear me, if I was strong enough, I would be doing a handstand already!

my college people are funny and friendly. they don't know my name and I have no intention of letting so many people know yet.

bye. bye! BYEEE!!

the girl in green, BYEEEEEE!!!

*turns around*

oh! *smiles*

bye!

her

oh, and did I mention that my car got towed away? well, at least it's back now. and while we were going to get my car I had the nerve to tell him to stop and let me have a look at her boyfriend's dog. just because it is cute.

*talking to jamin from a far away distance*

*guy walks past*

*stops talking to jamin*

O.O *stares at him*

*he stops and stares back*

O.O

whooaaa! oh dear.

what? he's going to be your partner ah.

oh god.

jamin

him

never imagined to see somebody I recognized. oh dear me. well, it's nice to see some old familiar faces since not many of them are around college.

oh oh oh! and you know? I managed a pretty turn today which is something quite difficult. it makes me happy because I could do it after a few times. considering that I didn't take ballet, that made me feel happy enough. yay me!

Warm me up, and breathe me

it's too late it's too late!! gahhhh! well, I hope nothing goes wrong. I hope that it'll be alright. I hope that I'm good enough actually. well, I should worry about that later and just do my best now, shall I?

breathe me

whatever it is, I know that this is enough and I'm satisfied. now, practice, practice and study.

I can't understand why can't I put colours anymore so I'm just gonna italic and bold stuff.

By,

Tze

safe

2011-02-08T06:49:00.001-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

did it hit any of you who are going to australia or UK or canada or US or wherever this year that this will be your last chinese new year in malaysia? for a few years that is. well, make full use of it. it won't be the same anymore. *smiles

I'm not here to post about my chinese new year though. it's been nice and I've been happy and I still am. and this is enough.

that guy, I don't even know who is he, I just want to thank him. I want to thank him for protecting her, I want to thank him for caring. just 2 words that came out from his mouth touched me. all he did was ask her to go home. though it was in a fierce voice, but that was enough. thank you. I feel much more relieved knowing that my friends have someone like you around. it calms me down. thank you.

though I don't know him, but he got my respect. that guy, he's everything I would want for them. when I heard what happened, I wasn't there, but it made me smile. it touched me so deeply. it wasn't anything spectacular, he didn't go all out to protect her, he didn't hit the guy in the face, he didn't grab her and run, he didn't do anything at all except to ask her to go home. but that's what made me respect him. I used to dislike that guy but I guess I like him now. he is worthy for her. and even if she refuses, it doesn't matter. because a guy like him can go far.

I don't know you, but I hope that I will at some point. thank you, for her.

By,

Tze

for now, this, is enough

2011-01-30T07:32:00.000-08:00

I am a very lucky girl. I have exactly what many people want. a bright future, parents, 2 amazing sisters and many wonderful friends around me.

I am not wealthy, I am not pretty, I am not famous, I am not talented, I am not popular, I am not a genius, I am not amazing.

there are so many things that I'm not but you know what, there's two things that I'm not. I'm not unlucky or unfortunate. I am just an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life and yet, sometimes I see extraordinary things around me. and that, is enough for me.

I like being me. I like my life. despite how many people may think that I should want more or dream for more, I like this. but maybe, just maybe I want just this little more. I want to have the ability to brighten up someone's day.

because I know that if it was me, and I'm having a bad day, I would want someone to manage to show me a little kindness. sometimes, just sometimes, you don't need anyone to listen to you. all it takes is just a person to walk up and smile while saying that I'll work things out, no matter how long it takes. and that would be enough.

I know I often complain. but more than enough times, those complaints should not be taken into any attention because usually, I'm happy and satisfied.

I'm gonna try to brighten up someone's day tomorrow. it'll be nice if I could.

because one day, when we leave this world, wouldn't you like to know that you had made someone smile at least once, just by being kind? it's such a little thing but yet, it seems like too little kindness is spread around.

well, I'm gonna try. and I hope I succeed.

I feeling, mellow. I hope it lasts. *smiles

By,

Tze

BoA

2011-01-27T19:45:00.000-08:00

I was going through many videos when I stumbled across this

it was the first japanese/korean (because I don't know what language it is) music video that I've seen at that time. I can't remember when was it that I watched this. it must be somewhere near form 2 or 3 I think. and it reminded me how much I like this song, and still do.

and I have to say that she is pretty. and the little kids are cute. and until now I still like it. =)

calm down

2011-01-17T10:46:00.000-08:00

It's late and I should sleep. but I can't seem to relax my mind and my body. I'm too worried about my timetable tomorrow. do I choose what time do I want it to end and switch my lecturer to the one whom they said it was boring? if it's boring I might not pay as much attention in class and that'll bring my results down. should I remain to have my original lecturer and timetable?

but I really want to change it. I'm sick of staying in college for so long everyday for the past year. and it's my third semester, where things would have chilled off. I won't be as eager to stay in college or hang out anymore. I would just want to go home and relax at home. do some things by my alone, enjoy solitude for a moment before everyone gets home.

I need to think it through tomorrow and get it changed or not changed. tomorrow is the only day to change. after that, I would need a good reason to change it. I shouldn't be stressed about a timetable. it's just a timetable. relax, calm down, see how are things tomorrow then only decide. stop stressing before college actually starts. you can stress when it does start.

I really should calm down and sleep.

3 days

2011-01-15T00:36:00.000-08:00

soon. soon, you'll see. I'll make myself to be someone whom you can be proud of. I will believe in determination and doing the best that you can.

self-control is something I have to learn. and maintenance.

I believe change is necessary. and I'm working hard towards it. it'll be tried in a few days time. a side needs to be tucked in, another displayed. we're all taking turns but it's a good thing in many ways.

I will succeed. there will be no room for mistakes.

By,

Tze

so this is the starting

2011-01-11T04:30:00.000-08:00

I dislike creepy people who stareeee. makes me want to poke their eyeballs.

on a lighter note, two kids who don't know each other today shared their candy with each other. aw, it warms my heart. so cute.

that's why I like taylors subang. because whenever you go back there, even if the first day of the third semester is not here yet, you still meet people who you know. and it's nice. that's what I like about it. every time you go there, it's a definite that you meet someone. and that, pleases me.

on the same note as jiahuei, I watched he's just not that into you. we didn't watch together, of course. but I find it totally-chick-flick-amazingly-awesome. or maybe I'm such a girl. that guy, I don't know what's his name, bradley cooper, the one who cheated on his wife in the movie, is DAMN good looking. and I like the asian gay guy. daaaamn.

you are the RULE, not the exception. if a guy looks like he doesn't give a shit about you, he genuinely doesn't give a shit about you! hahaha! darn, this movie is funny. I likey.

I like the part where the two black or african or I don't know what ethnicity women were talking on the bench. ahhh, it's so funny.

oh, that's my favourite one.

oh you know what's my favourite one?

when he says I'm jealous of the man who marries you.

*gives look*

well, you could have been the one!

mmm, yeah. you got that right.

damn, I burst out laughing at this point. teehee. it's so funny. I like the little little interviews in between the plot. like the old lady scene where her third husband was a gem but she is the real mastermind among all.

I like this sentence the most though,

welcome to my life, asshole.

shit.

let me get that door for you.

her

him

awww, alex is so cute. I like the alex and gigi pairing. so cuteeeee! justin long!!

okay, I probably should stop with the chick flick movie talking stuff. but I'm happy that I got to watch it! and I'm happy I still have 1 week before college starts. as far as I know, everyone else has started theirs. and then there's holidays so soon again! and sleepover! yayyy!

I'm a pretty contented, happy child. there's a lot of things I wanna accomplish before I start college again. I am happy. smile people, smile. for I just scattered a rainbow over your head.

oh, by the way, did I mention that I'm back in KL? tees.

By,

Tze

resolutions!

2011-01-06T07:46:00.000-08:00

I think I've been shopping too much here. sighs. but the things are so cheap! buying a pretty dress at only 7.50 singaporean dollars is not exactly findable back in KL. and you get to TRY it too. and good quality. the sales are wonderful.

this is the first year where I'll make a resolution list! I hope that I can stick to it though.

pick up a language class (hint: jamin)
pick up latin class (no, not a language)
practice piano at least thrice a week
not skipping class more than 10 times (you can't imagine how hard this is)
make a miracle everyday
try to STAY happy
be nice
study as often as possible
create and maintain
get used to not be in CPU after I graduate
get over to not going to canada

I can still think of others which are related to UK and canada but I shall not post them. I don't think they are resolutions, I think that those are things that will happen, inevitably. I really have to get over canada though. one way or another, either one of them has to be sacrificed. then again, it's not like I really have a choice, don't I? everything is laid out well.

I want to create miracles everyday. even if it is for others and not me. even a mere smile could be a miracle for someone else. it's a wonder how little things tend to touch people's lives. it's an even bigger wonder how each of us could actually perform those little things for others.

I want to live with no regrets. my life is pretty perfect up till now. find perfections beneath the imperfections and you'll see something which gives you faith. after all, I honestly do believe that there is a silver lining in everything. I don't regret anything that I've done in 2010. it was a good year. that one year that is hard to forget.

though 2010 posed quite a lot of problems, there are also good times. as she said, I wouldn't say it was the best year of my life, cause everything has its ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it to go back to wms. nor would I trade my wms years to go to college. you just can't compare them like that.

the expected's just the beginning.

the unexpected is what changes our lives.

By,

Tze

Start of the year, 2011!

2011-01-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

What an awesome way to start off the year! got home at around 3 am again.

whoo! awesome day, today, definitely awesome.

what with winning money and screaming and going out and spontaneous outings. mygoodness, dancing at the back of a lorry while it's moving is definitely not a very smart move, though it was super fun. was gonna get down from the lorry cause he was supposed to let us down but then as I was halfway climbing, he was moving it again. my god. thank goodness he saw and carried me down immediately while banging it.

karaoke was fun. especially the screaming part. guys can sing reaaaaally deeply. it was hilarious. and COLD. I like the part where we all screamed like maniacs. I think we had too much to drink. I mean, 40 percent whiskey? one shot? whaaaaat? and beer all the way.

I think I should stop drinking. gonna sleep now. should update properly tomorrow. AFTER shopping. tomorrow is shopping for clothes day! yayyy!

phuture singapore? should I go? bring it on. teehee.

TAS!

happy new year!

2010-12-31T10:45:00.000-08:00

Happy N ew Year people! all the way from singapore!

and I just got home and I'm a bit tipsy and I'm certainly happy. and I'm sitting here blogging cause I'm waiting my sister to get out from the bathroom. I know it's about 3 now but I had a blast.

I'll update a proper one tomorrow. kinda high, kinda tipsy, flushed up and excited. hahaha!

champagne, fireworks, desserts, streams and boats and music and loud and crowds and walking and dresses and heels and screaming and dinner and impulsive shopping and dancing and more drinking. that kinda sums up my last few minutes before new years.

I'm not wild, just think that I deserve to enjoy myself. okay, I'm probably blabbing, I need to calm down. tas!

this got me thinking

2010-12-30T11:11:00.000-08:00

I was sitting there on the phone, planning out on how to celebrate new years and to decide which invitation do I want to accept. and then she suddenly said something,

I've been in singapore/ malaysia for a year!

and it hasn't register in my mind yet. and I was still texting and replying messages. and she asked a question which honestly speaking, shocked me.

what were we doing last year's new year's

eve and new year's?

what? what last year?

oh I remembered!

we went into a pub and then when we came out it was snowing!

it was the prettiest new year's ever!

and the streets were full with people singing and dancing.

it was so beautiful!

her

and I just stared at her. because I was in shock. I mean, I couldn't believe that it was just LAST year. I thought I went to ireland 2 years ago. ohmygoodnessgraciousme. speaks a lot, doesn't it? it means that I felt this year passed too slow, or too many things happened which could honestly be counted as 2 years for me. ~~probably the latter.~~

just last year, I was celebrating new year's in ireland. and it hit me that this year, I'm celebrating new year's in singapore. and next year, I'll be celebrating new year's in england(hopefully, or canada). I WON'T EVER CELEBRATE IT IN MALAYSIA ANYMORE! then again, who cares?

I didn't consider about the invitations which I've received a few days ago. I was thinking, gah, I still have many many days before I need to decide which one to accept and reject. and I realized this morning, when I woke up, that it was gonna be new year's so soon. time flies, sometimes.

I FEEL OLD!

old, and happy. so whatever. and looking back at 2008, 2009 and 2010, I believe I can say that each year was unique to their own, each brought fond memories. and honestly speaking, although I always say that 2008 was the best year, it was also a terrible year for me. I just chose to remember the happiest times of my life, which is why it remains as a stronger memory for me.

I know that 2009 was equally good but some unpleasant things tend to cover up my find memories, which is, annoying. but I believe I can say that it made me very happy too.

as for 2010, well, there's about 1 and a half day left, we'll see, shall we?

if you ever talked to me in 2010, thanks for brightening up my day. even if the only thing you said to me was"go away" or "hi". it still made my year, I'm sure.

By,

Tze

la campanella

2010-12-28T10:20:00.000-08:00

I just heard a duet on the piano and violin of La Campanella. it renewed my love for both the instruments. oh dear me. when I get home, I want to practice my piano again. I've abandoned it for quite some time and it makes me sad, thinking about it now. sniffles.

note: obviously I won't be playing La Campenella, it's TOO advanced. teehee.

gahh! why isn't there a piano here instead?! I want to play it now!

I would love it if anybody who CAN play it, play for me. it's outstandingly amazing and gives me goosebumps. *sighs happily

By,

Tze

contentment for now

2010-12-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

I've been quite contented being here. I don't even want to go back home, thus, I shall not. for now that is. in just 2 days time, it'll be a new year and a new beginning for everyone of us. it is a good thing, not? to start over again and move on in life. make new resolutions and stick with it. a new year, a new time to try things again, to forget and leave behind whatever unhappiness.

as much as I want the new year to come, I still feel a bit of sadness because this year is coming to an end. after all, all that I worked so hard for this year, came true, didn't it? just as I've always want it to be. and I managed to turn my dreams into a reality. and it is, was, and will still be a good thing. it did pay off.

I suppose in the beginning, it was difficult when you're placed in a situation like that. and more often than not, I wish that I was back in the safety zone where I knew everyone and could expect everything. but I know that secretly, only I could make this or break this. and it worked. and it lasted. next year would be different though, but I would not make it that much of a difference, after all, once you had a taste of your dream, you can't really let go of it.

may things last exactly the way I want it to be.

pertinacious and determined.

By,

Tze